idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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