problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
then he tried to convert me to islam
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
