Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I am spending my child support on dildos
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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