There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
