it wasn't lemon gatorade
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
