Reggie can tackle my bush.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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