my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
