Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You took a bar mat shot.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
