She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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