Do you still have your period?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You were trust falling into bushes
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize