He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
