so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
