do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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