Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
