Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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