Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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