woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
