Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
