He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
