the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
