That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
