Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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