im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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