no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
