I'm laying in your front yard are you home
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
