I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
