Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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