Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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