So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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