How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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