I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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