BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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