The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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