I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
