I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
