in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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