Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just pynch a tree in the face
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
