Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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