this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize