Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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