If i come over, it means nothing
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
