Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.

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(512): View more from Texas

everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf

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(914): View more from New York

he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3

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(647): View more from Ontario

You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night

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(952): View more from Minnesota

my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.

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(312): View more from Illinois

He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.

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