he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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