whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
