i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
