My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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