i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
