her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
