are you so shy because you have an std?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she peed on how many people?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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