They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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