I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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