He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
