Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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