So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The air taste purple.
Randomize
