we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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