one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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