i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
