they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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