I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
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