when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize